When She Says It’s All Your Fault—And Why She’s (Partly) Right
Here’s the Hard Truth: It’s Not Just Her.
You let this happen.
Your self-respect is so low that you’ve allowed her to trample all over you.
It doesn’t matter how big your paycheck is.
It doesn’t matter how much you’ve accomplished at work.
If she’s treating you like this, it’s abuse.
She might be a narcissist.
She might have borderline personality disorder (BPD).
She might be carrying deep, unhealed wounds from childhood.
But none of that is an excuse for her behavior.
Codependency Feels Like Stockholm Syndrome
You keep hoping that if you just try harder, be better, fix yourself, she’ll finally change.
She won’t.
And that’s because you’ve made her your emotional center.
That’s codependency in action.
You crave her validation, even when she mistreats you.
You’re terrified of losing her, even though staying is destroying you.
You make excuses for her behavior, just like an abused hostage does for their captor.
Sound familiar?
Some Marriages Can’t Be Saved
Most of the men I work with want to fix their marriage.
And in many cases, they can—by leading, not fixing.
But sometimes? You have to walk away.
👉 If she’s physically or emotionally abusive, that’s not something you can fix.
👉 If she’s undermining your every move, that’s not a power struggle—it’s a trap.
👉 If she refuses to take responsibility and only blames you, she will never change.
The real question is: Will you?
How to Break Out of This Toxic Loop
You have one job right now:
Heal your own codependency.
✔ Set Boundaries – Stop accepting abuse and disrespect.
✔ Rebuild Self-Respect – You’re not here to be a punching bag or emotional sponge.
✔ Detach from Her Approval – If you stay locked in this cycle, you’ll never be free.
You need to love yourself enough to get out of this toxic dynamic—whether that means transforming your relationship or walking away from it.
Want the Blueprint to Healing Codependency?
Since 2015, I’ve coached founders, executives, and business owners to break free from codependency, ditch the clinginess, and rebuild their self-worth—so they can either repair their marriage or leave it peacefully.
📩 Download the Free PDF: Get my exact three-step method for healing Nice Guy Syndrome and codependency. → Click here
📅 Book a 1:1 Call: Let’s talk about your situation and create a roadmap for change. → Schedule a call here
🔥 Fix Your Codependency Fast: If you're serious about making a change, my fast-track course will get you unstuck. → Get the course here
She says it’s all your fault. 🤯
In some ways, she’s not wrong.
Your self-respect is so low that you let her trample all over you.
She won’t let you spend money on yourself.
She hits you.
She yells and cusses you out.
She uses every moment to undermine you or and how you don’t measure up.
I don’t care how big your paycheck is.
I don’t care how accomplished you are at work.
If she’s treating you like this, it’s abuse.
She might be a narcissist, struggling with BPD, or weighed down by unhealed childhood wounds. (That’s how narcissists and BPDs often form in the first place.)
Stop thinking if you were “better,” she’d finally love you. Stop making her your emotional center.
Bro, you’re codependent AF.
You’re in an abusive relationship on multiple levels, and she keeps saying you are the problem.
Codependency can sometimes feel like Stockholm Syndrome.
This probably isn’t a marriage you can salvage.
If you want a chance at a healthy life and future partnership, you need to address your own codependency.
You need to learn to set boundaries. You need to love yourself enough to break out of this toxic loop.
Since 2015, I’ve been coaching founders, executives, and business owners to heal codependency so they can thrive personally, ditch the clinginess, and repair their marriages—or exit them peacefully.
